I was speaking to a friend quite recently who mentioned that she didn’t want to set her sights too far about what she wants out of life, in case she ends up disappointed about not achieving what she really wants. But as she was saying it I could sense a certain amount of disappointment anyway.

If you’ve ever had the thought of being ‘realistic’ and not setting your sights ‘too far’ to save yourself from future upset, or holding yourself back by not admitting what you really want, or just setting your sights on something that falls way short of what you really want – on some level you are disappointed already.

On some level you know you want something bigger or better, but you’ve already convinced yourself you won’t get it. So it’s best not to aim for it, fail to get it, and then be disappointed.

But you’re actually disappointed already aren’t you?

This kind of thing happens a lot with people who would like to lose a lot of weight, but are afraid to think about it too much, because they (wrongly) believe they won’t get there. So to save disappointment they’ll sell themselves short right from the beginning.

I have a few thoughts about this…

Disappointment is not the enemy, but how you respond to your disappointment can be.

Let’s say you have a ‘totally unrealistic’ goal of having a bikini figure. But you’re already pissed off at yourself because you ‘know’ you’ll never achieve it. So you won’t aim for it, because you’ll be disappointed by not achieving it. But you’re actually disappointed now..

Looking at it another you can quickly flirt with the idea of having a bikini figure, feel the disappointment rise up and then think “What’s all that about? Why am I disappointed with myself? What do I need to do differently this time?”

The feeling of disappointment crops up a lot as you go through life doesn’t it, related to all manner of things It’s not something you can’t cope with is it, not really. So even if the worse happens and you don’t quite make it to the bikini figure – you’re faced with an emotion you know well, and have dealt with before many times.

However, I’ve another thing to say about that…

A lot of people put a time frame into their weight loss goals. This builds in disappointment right from the start that grows and grows the closer you get to your deadline. Fixed timeframes are no friend to a person on a weight loss journey.

Next week I’m going to suggest a different way at looking at what you really want, and it starts by taking out disappointment right from the beginning. But before then – think about what you really want.

It’s a bit of a cliché, but here I go anyway.

When you shoot for the stars but only land on the moon – well that really isn’t all that bad is it, and you may make it all the way to the stars! But if you only shoot for the moon to avoid disappointment (the disappointment you already actually feel!), you might not even make it out of orbit and be pulled back down quickly – because what you actually set your sights on didn’t have a strong enough pull.

What would have happened if you’d shot for what your actually wanted?

Why not message me with what you really want, because just writing it down and sharing with someone is a step in the direction you want to go. 

Have a great week.

Dr Julie